Living So It Counts
As I promised myself at the top of 2021, I took a week’s vacation at the end of March in an effort to give myself steady quarterly breaks from work (WELL Feature M06 Restorative Opportunities). It worked! I felt so refreshed upon my return and eager to dive into work — finishing up ongoing projects and starting new ones with zeal and creativity.
And this was coming off a week vacation that was bittersweet. Both my teenage children were home for their Spring Breaks and we had a delightful time together. I got back into the swing of cooking family meals and eating together once again as my daughter asked each of us in turn over dinner about our day’s rose, thorn and bud.
But then Monday rolled around and WHOOSH! They were gone again. Just like that. The apartment was still. Quiet. Empty-feeling. All that love and warmth got swept out the door with them and I suddenly felt gutted in a way I haven’t experience all year.
I miss everything about my kids in the deepest, rawest way. Our feet warming each others’ on the couch as we watch a movie at night. Their keys hanging on the now empty hooks by the door. Chatting about the day’s over crudite and cheese as I prepare dinner. Seeing the outfits my daughter walks out of her bedroom wearing each morning. Just that sharing of the daily details of co-living that no one outside our apartment would care about. (Did the cat barf again in the hallway and who stepped in it in the middle of the night?)
While I’ve known since my children left home last August that I need to build a whole new life beyond the day-to-day parenting I so miss — and have been doing so gradually (that’s A LOT of time to fill) — these deeper emotional pangs of loss drove me to pick up my old volunteering that I’ve done precious little of this past year. Now that I’m fully vaccinated, I can get back to it safely. And so, last Sunday morning found me at St. John the Divine Cathedral, a few blocks from my home, cooking meals for the homeless. Tomorrow morning before work, I’ll help the West Side Campaign Against Hunger make up bags of food to distribute.
Because when we put our pain to work, we pull others for a time from their own. And lifting them, in turn, lifts ourselves (WELL Feature C11 Civic Engagement). That’s how the world goes ‘round when we nourish each other, turning pain into joy and finding some inner peace. Pain is simply another part of life; not necessarily a problem. Depends what we do with it.
Some of our staff at the International WELL Building Institute (IWBI) remained involved in their communities this last year: phone-banking pre-presidential election; volunteering at the polls on Election Day; and postcard campaigning for the Georgia run-offs. But the pandemic has prevented or curtailed volunteering that others of us regularly did in our local neighborhoods. Many services were stopped or paused as funds got diverted to providing neighbors with the basics of food and holding on to their housing.
Now it’s time to get back to lending a helping hand. The U.S. is greatly troubled by racial hate and gun violence. Climate change is a global emergency. As the pandemic becomes more controlled, we can begin to turn our energies to help causes that matter to us. Why not do it together? IWBI staff will again start putting their VTO to work — that’s our annual day of Volunteer Time Off that many of us didn’t get to use last year.
Next week is National Volunteer Week and the week that IWBI staff will kick off its 2021 volunteering, together in groups and singlehandedly along with our neighbors wherever we’re located around the globe. I can’t wait! Let’s all inspire each other to act in ways that count.
